End Game

http://www.wattpad.com/story/5154171-end-game

I can say this is a ChickLit story, I usually hate these types of stories, this genre but this story was bearable. Take that as a compliment. I have to read stories and review them when the author requests me to review, can be any genre and when I see a ChickLit… I honestly cringe.

Yet, this was well written, emotion portrayed well and I love how many girls— Or at least how I can relate. I don’t always agree with what’s going on, but it’s nice seeing how the main character is growing. All and all this is a good story and I recommend it if you’re looking for a ChickLit Romance.

I won’t— can’t honestly say anything bad about this story, give it a slight edit and it’s very professionally done. It’s a perfect ChickLit, self-acceptance and heartbreak. Bravery and vulnerability. These emotions show through in the main character and I find this very well done. The author knows how to keep readers reading, even the ones who do not like ChickLits. Be proud and keep writing. :)

Family Goes Beyond Blood

http://www.wattpad.com/story/4189059-family-goes-beyond-blood

This story will make you cry! The raw emotion this story has— how the author portrays them is unbelievable. It really drags you into read this story, the plot is pretty simple but it’s the descriptiveness and writing ability that keeps me reading

Only fix there could be is some small spelling and grammar errors. Nothing major, more like a slip of the finger to the wrong letter on the keyboard. Give this story a quick edit and it is something the author should be proud of.

I wish I could say I recommend this story to anyone, but honestly it may not be something some readers can bare. If you can relate to your family being murdered of some sort, than probably not for you if it will only bring back the pain. Because even if you cannot relate, this story will make you feel sad in the pit of your stomach.

Amazing how the author wrote this, I hope it is completely fictional… I know these types of stories happen in real life, but I don’t know, the way this was written is all to breath-taking, makes you read on in awe and a cold sweat. It’s addicting for even though it is a tragedy… Look for the romance ahead. The thing I like about this, moral of the story perhaps… it’s all about, facing and healing from life’s troubles. We all have to do it whether we like it or not. I highly recommend this story. 

Laughter House

http://www.wattpad.com/story/3928456-laughter-house

This story is outstanding, and it’s plot is amazing. I like how dark and creepy, yet childish and naive it is. The mix of those qualities is very unique and makes this very entertaining to read. The grammar is good for the most part, but the amount of the description could be amped. Though, in saying that, this story is truly brilliant and I enjoyed reading it.

Things the author could work on, would be your description. Instead of using such bleak words, try to bump up the vocabulary. It would make the story much more eerie. I feel that when I’m reading it, I am just reading a rough draft, and more will be added later. More of what you ask? Sensory details. As I read this, I longed for long descriptions of how creepy and eerie the house was. For example, when the author described the sudden giggle in the fifth chapter, I longed to read something more bold. So, maybe adding richer and more descriptive words in the story would give it more of a creepier, and heart racing feel. That’s all I feel needs to be worked on.

Overall, I would recommend this story to everyone. Why? For one, it’s appropriate for anyone. Second, the plot, is kid friendly and even though it’s creepy, and dark, it’s beautiful and interesting. Third, the pace is slow enough for anyone to follow, yet fast enough to keep you drawn in and interested. So, in my opinion, this is the book to read if you feel the need to read something mysterious or angsty.

My Second Sight

http://www.wattpad.com/story/4406981-my-second-sight

Nice summary to start off, the prologue is even more amazing. I was a little disappointed when I found out this may be a, “vampire story” but I read on because it is very well written so far, especially as far as organization and plot go.

Turns out to be a vampire story… Not a vampire love story, thank God, but nonetheless a vampire story. It may have been better if you replace the vampires with the CIA or something. That’s just my personal opinion of preferred genre nonetheless though. Some readers like vampire stories, some don’t.

This story really keeps you reading whether you like it or not. That’s the way a story needs to be. The tension in this story keeps building up, keeps you wondering so much about what happened and what will happen. I love that mysterious feeling when I am reading.

In any case I can say I love this story, only minor grammar mistakes and the rest seems perfect, plot, pacing, detail. So if you’re looking for a great action-fantasy-mystery about a psychic girl who has vampires after her with a little romance thrown into the mix… This is the story for you. 

Reality bites

http://www.wattpad.com/story/1660107-reality-bites

First off, I think some author’s forget about the importance of a summary. This author is one of those, I recommend making the summary of this story longer and more interesting. Good at keeping the plot secret, but also I have no clue what this story is; it doesn’t give enough of the story away to me to hook me in to read the book. Work on that.

What I assume to be the “prologue”, the opening to Reality Bites is amazingly done. I loved that, that’s more like a better summary, so I’d personally replace the summary with that. That is something that will hook a reader into this book. I also want to see a little more descriptiveness… Sometimes the author is good at it, sometimes not…

Now that that’s out of the way, this story is wonderful. If you’re looking for a thrilling fantasy than this is for you. If you believe in demons and other realms other than the one you know, this is for you. The author has sheer talent for writing and I am impressed. Minor work in this story, other than that, this is my type of read and I recommend it to all.

This is the type of story I hope to see go far, the writing style is nearly perfect. It is as an author and reader alike do… Escape reality. The author really takes you away from reality and opens your mind to that in itself. At this point I’m no longer one that wants an escape but… In any case this story is direct on telling you you’re escaping and that there are many other worlds to discover, I like that and I hope this plot will have some good twists coming soon…

That Morning

http://www.wattpad.com/15803650-that-morning#.UZQQP46sFFZ

Interesting. I can say nothing more; this is a teen fiction short story… That is still early on within the book. I like it so far. I’d like the author to put a summary on this and slow down, this sometimes get’s confusing when you jump right from one scene to the next. Put some obvious indentations within your paragraphs.

The author needs to work on her grammar, perspectives and pacing. Other than that this story is off to a nice start. Too early in the book to say, honestly. It’s an interesting start nonetheless and I hope the author will impress with the plot. As far as I’m concerned this story can go in an upright swing or go downhill.

We will see in do time. For now, I’m rating it so far, so good. Plot is interesting; I see it going far if the author puts in some effort. Other than that I will just suggest other’s to give it a read. It’s better than a lot of other things I’ve read; at least the author has talent and some skill. So let’s get this unknown author known. 

The House of Lattimore

http://www.wattpad.com/story/4944357-the-house-of-lattimore

This story is an amazingly professional job. The author has amazing talent for descriptions, which is highly needed in the Historical Fiction genre. You need to transfer your readers mind back to whatever era you are trying to portray and the author of this story does it splendidly. I found practically no mistakes in this story as far as spelling and grammar are concerned.

One thing I think that could use some improvement is that the length of chapters is unconsistent. Try to keep chapters at a decent length and all the same length. It’s disappointing to read one long chapter and then one extremely short one. Readers may lose interest. Shorten some paragraphs as well, other than that I’m impressed with the professionalism.

I recommend this story to all, or those of you looking for a Historical Fiction Romance. It is quite good; plot keeps me interested and that is a hard thing to do. This type of story you need self-study, you need description, you need more effort than other genres that can just be pulled out of your hat.

The author did this story without fail. I sometimes feel it is a tad predictable, but nonetheless makes me question myself, makes me read more and more so I recommend this story for it has just impressed me so much.

Neo Genesis

http://kool10001.deviantart.com/journal/

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Saosin_Rising/1169195/

This story isn’t officially posted online yet, the author still has it in draft form, but I mist say it is an impressive three chapter draft. The author emailed it to me asking for a review and I cannot deny giving this story a review before it hits the net. I want to see this story get popular.

It’s very thrilling and I love a good science fiction novel. The chapters are a great length, organized, and well plotted. This author has an amazing talent and I hope to see him just keep writing. I find nothing really bad about this story, it still needs slight edits but the author will find those mistakes, it’s still in draft form.

Before I forget I will mention to you all that the author desires to make this series of his into a graphic novel. So if there are any comic artists reading this interested in becoming the artist of this story, please contact me or the author. The author will not pay you but in my opinion I would get in on this story. For I feel it will go far one day— or at least I hope so. This would be a great action movie, it starts out beautifully.

I can only say positives about this story and highly recommend, it’s one of my favorites I’ve read in awhile. The thrilling, occult, sci-fi and action stories are just so addicting for me, and even if you’re not into that stuff… Maybe this story will make you be… Check it out for yourself.  

All The Little Sacrifices

http://www.wattpad.com/story/4741387-all-the-little-sacrifices

This story isn’t what you’ll suspect. At first you think it’s just about an aspiring actress trying to get discovered, just something funny and amusing, but… I tell you it’s so much more. It is thrilling and leaves me on edge to read more. I recommend it to anyone honestly. It’s a good balance of everything.

I’d like the pacing to be slightly faster, but other than that this story is very well written. I hardly found any grammar or spelling mistakes. Only the pacing and the description could be a bit better. Other than that it’s perfect.

Never thought humor and horror could be blended this well. I honestly love this story and hope it get’s more attention. That’s why I am pointing it out here, the last few stories I have read have been crap and it really helps you appreciate an author with so much talent writing a story like this. Check it out. 

Blaze

http://www.wattpad.com/story/4569202-blaze

This story is wicked. I love the ingenious plot, it may seem like a X-men or Sky High rip-off to most people, but I appreciate the originality I do see. I recommend this to all. I personally love this story.

The only thing I didn’t like about the story was the main character’s name… Asterisk… Isn’t that what this  *  is? At least the author pointed that out in the story. Oh well, don’t let that shallow critique stop you from reading this. I definitely want to read on with this story and recommend it to all who are into the super-girl kind of stories.

So now in all seriousness, the only mistake I find is minor grammar and spelling, slight lack of description and mainly, that I believe the author should have done this story in first person. Sometimes it switches from third person to first person and that gets confusing. I don’t care what perspective the author decides to do, just pick one and stick with it.

Overall this story impressed me. It is delivered very well and I appreciate the hard effort, admire the author’s talent and look forward to more. If you are looking for a story about mutant kids with special abilities, this story is for you.

My Love

http://www.wattpad.com/story/3688294-my-love

The plot is fantastic… The rest of the story is completely awful. Period. No getting around it. If you’re looking for a vampire romance, than this is for you… If you can ignore writing errors of all sorts. I can’t.

It feels like a Twilight rip-off, honestly. Twilight gone pop/hip hop. I still like the plot, at least feels like the author has some sense of originality I can appreciate. If the author works harder and puts more effort, than this story could go far because these vampire romances are very appealing to teenage girls of this era right now. So good job there.

Now for the negatives… I honestly don’t think this author knows what capitalization is. Or commas and grammar and spelling needs work. Paragraphs are too long. If this story is edited, I may take it seriously. As of now, I’m sorry, I read nothing but mistakes.

This really saddens me, I can see so much potential talent, but it’s put to waste my laziness. Honestly, these aren’t mistakes you can look over… When you can’t go one sentence without reading a mistake. This story could be epic, but now it’s only an epic fail. I want to see it when it’s edited, then I will give this story a five-star review.

TRS (The Robot Survivors)

http://www.wattpad.com/story/3563428-trs-the-robot-survivors

The plot is great, ingenious. Who doesn’t love a story about robots taking over the world? The action is awesome, well written there; it is an amazing sci-fi thriller, filled with mystery and some romance. I feel this story could go far…

However, I didn’t find this story professional at all. Nor was it organized. This story honestly gets confusing. Third person I like to read, but the author does not do a good job at pulling it off. If this story had some major editing it could win a watty award no doubt. In its current state… not a chance.

You cannot just have a good plot alone. You have to have grammar, correct spelling, organization, good description and pacing. This story only seems to have a great plot, nothing more. As much as I could enjoy this story, I really don’t want to read it because it is so disorganized, little effort put into it. I recommend it if you want a robot takeover, sci-fi read and only read it if you don’t mind major writing errors.